In this episode, my guest is Dr. James Hollis, Ph.D., a Jungian psychoanalyst, renowned educator and author on finding and pursuing one’s unique purpose. Dr. Hollis is also an expert in the psychology of relationships and healing from trauma. We discuss how early family dynamics and social context create patterns of both adaptive and maladaptive behavior and internal narratives that, when examined, lead to better choices and a deeply fulfilling existence.We discuss discovering your unique self-identity and purpose through specific practices of reflection, meditation and conversations with others. We also discuss self-perception and the evolution of roles within marriages, parent-child relationships, and work.Throughout the episode, Dr. Hollis provides both basic knowledge and practical tools to help us assess ourselves and better understand who we are and what we really want in careers, relationships of all kinds, and society.For show notes, including referenced articles and additional resources, please visit hubermanlab.com.Use Ask Huberman Lab, our new AI-powered platform, for a summary, clips, and insights from this episode.Thank you to our sponsorsAG1: https://drinkag1.com/hubermanMateína: https://drinkmateina.com/hubermanJoovv: https://joovv.com/hubermanBetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/hubermanWaking Up: https://wakingup.com/hubermanMomentous: https://livemomentous.com/hubermanTimestamps00:00:00 Dr. James Hollis00:02:14 Sponsors: Mateina, Joovv & BetterHelp00:05:57 Self, Ego, Sense of Self00:13:59 Unconscious Patterns, Blind Spots, Dreams; Psyche & Meaning00:21:56 Second Half of Life, Purpose, Depression00:25:37 Sponsor: AG100:27:08 Tool: Daily Reflection; Crisis00:31:47 Families & Children, Permission & Burdens00:37:27 Complex Identification, Self-Perception; Social Media & Borderline00:41:55 Daily Stimulus Response, Listening to the Soul00:45:40 Exiting Stimulus-Response, Loneliness, Burnout00:51:19 Meditation & Perception, Reflection00:54:58 Sponsor: Waking Up00:56:15 Recognizing the “Shadow” & Adulthood01:02:48 Socialization; Family & Life Journey01:09:04 Relationships & “Otherness”, Standing Your Ground01:15:51 Marriage, “Starter Marriages” & Evolution; Parenting01:19:37 Shadow Issues, Success & External Reward, Personal Growth01:27:59 Men, Alcohol, “Stoic Man”, Loneliness, Fear & Longing01:37:33 Women & Men, Focused vs. Diffuse Awareness; Male Rite of Passage01:44:31 Sacrifice, Relationships; Facing Fears01:48:20 Therapy, “Abyss of the Self”, Repeating Patterns & Stories01:55:17 Women, Career & Family, Partner Support; Redefining Roles02:01:40 Pathology & Diagnosis, Internet02:07:05 Life, Suffering & Accountability, “Swamplands” & Task02:11:32 Abuse & Recovery of Self, Patience, Powerlessness02:14:11 Living a Larger Life; “Shut Up, Suit Up, Show Up”02:17:49 Life Stages; Despair & Integrity Conflict02:25:00 Death, Ego, Mortality & Meaning02:38:07 Zero-Cost Support, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Social Media, Neural Network NewsletterDisclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices