In this episode, my guest is Dr. David Buss, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, and one of the founding members of the field of evolutionary psychology.Dr. Buss describes his work on how people select mates for short and long-term relationships, the dynamics of human courtship, and mate value assessment — meaning how people measure up as potential partners. We also discuss the causes of infidelity and differences for infidelity in men and women. He explains how people evaluate and try to alter other people’s mate value as a means to secure and even poach mates. We discuss monogamous and non-monogamous relationships in humans. And we discuss what Dr. Buss calls “the dark triad” — features common in stalkers and narcissists that relate to sexual and psychological violence in relationships.This episode is sure to be of interest to anyone single or in a relationship who seeks to know how people select mates and anyone who is interested in forming and maintaining healthy romantic partnerships. Read the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.Thank you to our sponsorsAG1: https://athleticgreens.com/hubermanLMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/hubermanlabWaking Up: https://wakingup.com/hubermanMomentous: https://livemomentous.com/hubermanTimestamps00:00:00 Introducing Dr. David Buss  00:04:27 Sponsors: AG1, LMNT & Waking Up00:08:33 Choosing a Mate  00:13:40 Long Term Mates: Universal Desires  00:18:31 What Women & Men Seek in Long-Term Mates  00:25:10 Age Differences & Mating History  00:32:20 Deception in Courtship  00:37:30 Emotional Stability  00:38:40 Lying About Long-Term Interest  00:41:56 Short-Term Mating Criteria, Sliding Standards & Context Effects  00:46:25 Sexual Infidelity: Variety Seeking & (Un)happiness & Mate Switching  00:54:25 Genetic Cuckolds, How Ovulation Impacts Mate Preference  00:57:00 Long-Term vs. Short-Term Cheating, Concealment  00:59:15 Emotional & Financial Infidelity  01:04:35 Contraception  01:06:22 Status & Mating Success  01:10:10 Jealousy, Mate Value Discrepancies, Vigilance, Violence  01:24:13 Specificity of Intimate Partner Violence  01:25:12 Mate Retention Tactics: Denigration, Guilt, Etc.  01:27:33 Narcissism, Machiavellianism, Psychopathy  01:33:25 Stalking  01:39:15 Influence of Children on Mate Value Assessments  01:43:24 Attachment Styles, Mate Choice & Infidelity  01:46:40 Non-Monogamy, Unconventional Relationships  01:54:00 Mate Value Self Evaluation, Anxiety About the Truth  02:02:12 Self Deception  02:05:35 The Future of Evolutionary Psychology & Neuroscience  02:06:56 Books: When Men Behave Badly, The Evolution of Desire, Textbooks  02:10:42 Concluding Statements, Zero-Cost Support: Subscribe, Sponsors, Supplements  Disclaimer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices